The ABC's Of Getting Preggers

I feel like a good question to ask women these days is: "when do you plan on getting pregnant?" I say this for a few of reasons.

I think when I initially thought of this I was bored and figured I'd get a bunch hilarious responses that for the most part included the words "f*ck" and "you" however I was surprised (although I guess I shouldn't be) to learn that I was given fairly rational answers (which I guess is in and of itself a minor surprise...jokes!). Some sincere, some sarcastic, and most of which were unintentionally funny...well, at least to me.

The first three answers I received were the following:

Girl A: "ummm, closer to later than sooner."
Girl B: "Well, I'm free tonight..."
Girl C: "30-31. I want twins."

I found this extremely interesting as these three responses, to me, sort of envelope the main three psyches of young women. Don't believe me? Read on and you will!

Isn't it funny how predictable people can be sometimes? I would've said women but A) I would have gotten angry letters, and B) plenty of different categories of people adhere to certain stereotypes all the time. (Note: I didn't say all. I'm not an ignoramus.)

The first response is from a 22-year-old. She accepts the question as logical but honestly knows it's not something that's in her immediate future. This is different than, say, a teenage girl who is either scared shitless because she's just started having sex and getting preggers was one of the initial fears she had to hurdle to get herself in the sack. Or she responds with delusions of grandeur about how her entire life will pan out with names for the children and where she'll take them on Saturday afternoons.

The second response is from a 24-year-old girl. Her joke of "Well, I'm free tonight" is admittedly funny. However, in my estimation (which for all intent and purposes is on par with a licensed psychologist for this article), this girl is at the age where some of her friends already have kids and she's scared of hitting 25 because that's halfway to 30. And by 30 you're "supposed to" have a couple of kids and be married. So even though the thought of having a couple scamps running around is almost as far off her mind as the 22-year-old's, she finds ways to joke about the subject to, presumably, distract herself from her instinctive feelings to procreate.

The third response is from a 26-year-old girl. She responds directly and honestly about the subject and shows no problems of knowing exactly when she plans to get a couple buns in the oven. Not only does she know the exact age she wants to do it (which then one can infer that this girl is career driven, which isn't necessarily a bad thing) but she knows how many she wants. This confidence can be attractive to guys but the fact that she's confident about having kids at a set date can easily turn off just as many. It's quite the conundrum she lives in.

So what have we learned here? We learned that the psyche of the female, at least in the hormonal realm, seems to function as a bell curve. At first they hastily plan out their entire life including kids, job, husband, where they'll live, and how often they'll wax nostalgic on their husband's hoohoo. Then they wise up and realize that making babies is far down the line. Then they realize they're getting older and peer pressure only compounds their instincts to procreate. Then they realize peer pressure is stupid and they set their plans again but much more responsibly. The only problem is guys are naturally hesitant to settle down (it's instincts people, we're socially getting a little more mature each generation, bear with us) so this can turn us off.

So there you go. I asked the first three girls I thought of this simple question and got an entire sociological lesson out of it. Obviously I only surveyed three lovely ladies and that surely isn't enough to properly make full-bodied assertions. But then I'm CPunch and that's what I do. Hell, I gave myself a friggin' PhD for this article. Have a terrific weekend.