I know I promised this article last Friday but I ended up getting slammed with other business and then the long weekend happened so here we are. Now, let's see if I can remember anything that happened in August. Also, don't expect any "let's throw another Steve Irwin on the (sting ray) barb(ie)" jokes. Although, that was a good one. I'm not a monster.

Underrated

Snakes On A Plane - If you haven't read this yet then seriously, get a clue. The movie has only made $31.6 million, which I guess is a failure. But that's misleading considering so many reviews of it are positive. Take, for example, the compiled reviews on rottentomatoes.com. The movie is given a 69% freshness rating (based on a collection of many film critics' reviews) which is a very good percentage. Fact of the matter is, well...just read the link above.

Foo Fighters - I took in a show on the last day of the month at the historical Pantages Theater here in LA and found myself thoroughly entertained. Now this show was an acoustic show so going in I figured I'd be treated to the four band members playing some of their softer songs and that would be that. Basically, I didn't have my hopes up to high that this would be an experience worthy of a hardon. I was in fact, wrong...as hard as that may seem. The Foos brought along four other musicians including famed friend of Dave Grohl's (since the Nirvana days), Pat Smear. Not only was the show two and a half hours long but the band rocked out as hard as if it was a regular rock show. They brought everything and opened up new angles to interpret some of their old songs you wouldn't normally think would sound good acoustically. Thanks in part to the keyboardist/accordion player, violinist/mandolin player, and my new buddy Drew Hester who played percussion including but not limited to castanets, bongos, xylophone, triangle, and of course, the cowbell. Yea, there was a triangle solo. Yes, there was a cowbell solo. This show was the third of three shows at the Pantages, all of which were being filmed for a dvd which will be out by Christmas according to Taylor Hawkins the drummer. (If you're wondering how I talked to these two guys, Drew and Taylor, it's because they were on the Tonight Show the next day. Lucky me.)

Carrot Top - He really just makes everyone else look better. And honestly, that's just a great quality. He's a super nice guy (same reasons I know this as Drew and Taylor) but well...put it this way, he's the main attraction at the Luxor in Las Vegas. The Luxor, ladies and gentlemen. I could take a crap on stage and throw it into a fan blowing directly in front of me and be the main attraction at the Luxor. Sorry Scott Thompson, but you're better off taking some more 'roids and railing your too-hot-for-you girlfriend whom I may or may not be pleasuring myself to....right....now.

Overrated

Health Insurance/Doctors - So I had strep throat last month for about a week. I didn't get a chance to go to a doctor for four days so I just sort of sucked down some Airborne and NyQuil and hoped it'd go away. This was futile and my throat only got worse. This isn't problem. People get sick all the time. My beef is that when I finally go to the doctor they say my insurance has a $250 deductible that I haven't met yet so the usual $10 copay is not applicable. But the regular $150 charge is! At this point after four days, I knew I had strep. I knew I needed Z-pak zithromax as I've taken it before for bronchitis and other illnesses. However, the only way to get that prescription is to see the doctor. So after literally 30 seconds of looking at me the doctor wrote and Rx for me for Z-pak. The Z-pak cost me $10. So a prescription that is so cheap because it's so common (which probably should be an OTC by now) costs me $150 and a 30 second visit to the doctor? What a crock. Screw you doctors and screw you Anthem Blue Cross.

Fruits & Vegetables - Health experts apparently don't know dick when it comes to anything. You've got what I just wrote about and you've got this. My neighbor Jessica had a kidney stone at the very beginning of the month. It was hell from what she told me and believe you me, her describing the agony was enough for me. I feel like I've had it myself. Point is, when she finally passed the stone and the doctors went over her status after the fact, they told her she probably got the stone because she was consuming too many antioxidants - too many fruits and vegetables. Too many!? You can have too many fruits and vegetables? Now I'm glad the only fruits I've had in the past month are Jolly Ranchers and Cherry Garcia ice cream. So if you're drinking that pomegranate crap, watch out. You're gonna be howling from the porcelain pretty soon.

WebMD - You know what, let's just make it a hat trick, shall we? I think I added this to the Overrated column in like February or March when I thought I had an ulcer. But I'm just gonna go ahead and add it again. When I had this episode with strep I went to WebMD (begrudgingly) to make sure I had it before I went to the doctor. Sure enough WebMD was correct. However, it said that if left untreated and you had other sinus problems (which I do) then you could potentially get rheumatic fever which severely affects your joints similar to arthritis and could develop a heart disease. Well, that's just f**kin' great! Once again WebMD scares the piss out of me. On top of that, when I went back to the WebMD page just now to make sure I spelled "rheumatic" right (because you gotta keep the facts straight) I noticed I had skipped a sentence in the previous paragraph which read, "Strep throat usually goes away in 3 to 7 days with or without antibiotic treatment." Great, so basically I was damned if I do and damned if I don't. I may not have had to go to the doctor at all and just been able to ride it out. Thanks a lot, WebMD. Another middle finger salute to the Fox News of medical websites.