Happy birthday America! Yes, today is the day we Americans celebrate our independence from those limey bastards. And what better way to do it than to blow a whole bunch of shit up? If you answered that rhetorical question with, "getting laid on the hood of a camaro under the moonlight" then I suppose I could give you half credit. In any event, Independence Day is a fantastic holiday. Before we get ahead of ourselves though, let's take a look back at June.

Underrated

Superman Returns - Those who said Superman was gay are drowning themselves in Haterade. The movie was the mad note. Not only does Clark Kent kick maximum ass but he does it while looking very much like the original Man of Steel, Mr. Christopher Reeve. He did everything short falling off a horse and snapping his neck in half. (Awwww.) Now going in I figured the special effects would be tremendous (and they were) but I wasn't sold yet on the story line and acting. Well, they both gave me a raging hardon. It wasn't all cheesy sap. There were well-timed jokes and clever dialogue among all characters including the always mouthwatering Kate Bosworth who made me rethink my whole "Lois Lane is really a dyke in disguise" theory. Way to go Kate, you and the rest of the team have restored my faith in DC Comics and the man with the red underwear. Oh, and Kevin Spacey was the Lexest of Luthors...but did I really need to mention that?

Entourage - HBO's, and quite possibly all of TV's, hottest show returns for its 3rd season and it doesn't disappoint. Ari, Vince, Drama, Turtle, and E are all back and reaping all the benefits of Aquaman. I think the best part about this show is that it makes you feel like you can do what they do. Like anyone can make it in LA and go to all these parties and hook up with girls way out of your league. Maybe it's just me but this show actually raises my confidence level and helps me feel like I can take over this town (LA) just as easily as Vincent Chase. Obviously you have to keep things in perspective and have a good head on your shoulders but it doesn't hurt to have a little confidence booster. Oh, and if you miss the show at 10pm on Sundays, it's automatically added to the On-Demand list so you can watch it whenever. That's when we hug it out, bitch.

Chicago Bulls - They drafted stud Tyrus Thomas from LSU and just (as I've been writing this late Monday night) signed a deal with "Big" Ben Wallace formerly of the Detroit Pistons. The Baby Bulls are making a run and I love it. I haven't been excited for an NBA season since 1997...the last year the Bulls won the championship. Ever since then they have pretty much sucked so I've been keeping an eye on them hoping for them to rebuild faster and faster. Two seasons ago they made the playoffs for the first time since 1998 only to lose to the Wizards. This year they lost a tough battle to the eventual champs, the Miami Heat. The boys from the Windy City are back and ready to take over.

Overrated

Star Jones - First things first, anyone that says, "At least she has big cans" can go suck on a rail spike because fat boobs are not real boobs. I hate when people, including some friends of mine, say or have said something along these lines. Big boobs aren't cool when the rest of the girl weighs more than you. Anyway, Star got booted from The View almost entirely (I assume) because of the replacement of Meredith Veira with Rose O'Donnell. By the way, this is the most I will ever talk about The View. Star has been complaining about how she hates Rosie and that she was forced off the show. I'm pretty sure no one, including View fans, cares that she's hit the bricks. It's just one less hen in the chicken coop. Star, do us all a favor and stop crying and complaining and drawing attention to yourself. No one ever liked you including your "husband". I'll sell all of my possession if that dude hasn't cheated on you at least once.

Referees - Between the NBA Finals and the World Cup, there have been more bad calls in a three week span then I can remember. The foremost example being the United States/Italy game in which red cards were given out to the Americans for tackles that wouldn't have warranted a yellow card. On top of that game, a penalty shot was issued in the United States/Ghana game late in the first half that was scored and sucked the wind right out of America's sails. Granted Bruce Arena did a horrible job coaching the U.S. team but if the refs weren't so God awful Team America would have advanced. I'm not even counting the 16 red cards game between the Netherlands and Portugal. C'mon FIFA, get your act together.

Global Warming - After seeing An Inconvenient Truth and feeling the effects first hand in the Valley for the past three weeks, I've got to say that I'd like to get in touch with my inner-hippie and help reverse this crisis as much as possible. Not only do I not want all of south Florida under water but I'm sweating my cajones off over here. I'm sitting here, without air conditioning, with my fan on and all the windows open to get a draft going, and I'm sweating. Sitting and sweating. Exerting no energy and still sweating. That is un-freakin-believable. If you haven't seen An Inconvenient Truth yet, go see it. It will scare you shitless. Seriously, you will have to buy new underwear. And while you're in a spending mood, buy a hybrid or car with over 45 mpg. I'd like to be able to joke about this but the entire country of the Netherlands will be gone in 20-30 years and much of Manhattan including the WTC site will be under water if you don't do something. It's not Al Gore's "agenda", it's thousands of scientists and 928 independent scientific journals that tell us this. Time to get responsible, kids. Once we save the earth we can go back to making fart jokes. I know I will.