Another month, another late O/U. This time was brought on by a couple of things, a) me being lazy on Thursday and 2) a stupid LA driver smashing into my car on Friday leaving me to deal with an undrivable car all weekend. The car's still undrivable but as you're reading this it's been checked out and on its way to being fixed. CPunch doesn't ride the bus. Well, unless he really, really has to...which this situation will almost certainly warrant.
Underrated
Pearl Jam - The kings of rock n roll from the early 90's are back. That's just what everyone else was saying. Anyone with an ear for music knows they've been kicking maximum ass all 15 years they've been around. The experimental sounds of No Code, Yield, Binaural and Riot Act have, while being incredibly ambitious and equally fantastic, gone away and the straight ahead riff-oriented rock that dominated radio in the early 90's is back. Their new album came out on May 2 and they have toured throughout the entire month ending their first leg last Saturday and the armpit of America, East Ruthorford, NJ. Fan favorites along with a few rarities have spanned the setlists that vary considerably nightly. On top of this, the second major fan "song campaign" was fulfilled when PJ gave in and played "Leash" (off of Vs.) for the first time in 11 years in Boston on May 25th. They've played it every show since. You asked for it; you got it. Bottom line - Pearl Jam delivers the goods.
Hotel Pools - It really amuses me when I can hotel pool hop and see the most random celebrities. A few weeks ago I was enjoying another Sunday Funday with the usual group when we decided to hit up a couple hotel pools. The first being Skybar. If you've never heard of this joint it's basically a very chique hotel with a pool deck covered with pretty people. The whole scene is very easy on the eyes. Anyway, I'm enjoying myself a very tasty strawberry daquiri when who do I see at the next table over? None other than Mr. I Swear I'm Not Gay himself, Ryan Seacrest complete with mojito. I thought this was humor enough for one afternoon but when we left for Hotel Roosevelt's pool, I was proven wrong. Who did we happen to set up shop next to but none other than Steve-o himself. (Raab Himself was not present.) Steve-o, complete with self portrait tattoo on his back, was herbalizing, in public mind you, and making out with two different broads. I just sat back and laughed at the circus that is LA. What I wouldn't pay to watch Steve-o and Seacrest fight it out UFC style. Tell me that wouldn't see on Pay-Per-View. I dare you.
Other People's Weddings - When one of your best buddies is getting married you basically have the excuse to get blitzed out of your skull and hit on the bridesmaids while looking like a sweetheart by dancing with the flowergirl. It really is a chance to fulfill the prophecy laid out in Wedding Crashers. Well, the chicks aren't as hot but you get the idea. So entering the wedding I had my sights set on the maid of honor which I just happened to have drunkenly hooked up with a few New Years Eve's ago. However as soon as I talk to my friend, the best man, I learn she had hooked up with another high school friend the previous night. I could not have laughed harder. Apparently the truth was coming out that this girl was of the slut variety. She is still a very nice girl but this was hilarious. So the rest of the wedding was basically me acting like I knew she had hooked up with him while I knew that she knew I knew and that it was funny because we had hooked up before. Still with me? And then I got more hammered and ate some cake and recorded another friend getting punched by a Marine and then asking for more. Weddings really bring out the best in people, huh? Oh yea, congratulations Joe and Angela!
Overrated
ESPN - Now hear me out. I was an employee for the network for a year and I have much respect for what they do (on the whole) and (most of) the people that work there and make it happen. But one of the things that really pisses me off about The Leader is that they seem to think we give a rat's ass about Barry Bonds. No one cares. Everyone knows he's a cheater and no one considers him passing Babe Ruth for second on the all-time homeruns list an accomplishment. According to an ESPN.com writer, without steroids he'd probably be around 620 homeruns. Now, this is still very impressive but apparently Barry's God-given skill wasn't good enough satiate his thirst for attention and admiration. So over the past month as Bonds was inching closer to Ruth, ESPN thought it'd be a good idea to break whatever programming they had going on with every Bonds at bat. No one cared. When they showed San Francisco Giants highlights on Sportscenter it was solely about Bonds. The fact that the rest of the Giants were playing a game and defending their division lead apparently wasn't that important. ESPN likes to say their tagline is "The World's Biggest Sports Fan". Well let me tell you ESPN, at the very least, the fans in America would probably rather see the NBA and NHL playoffs highlights than Bondscenter. Bonds is a cheater and a pathetic excuse for a human being. His accomplishments of the past seven years are unimpressive and should be excluded from the record books. But ESPN seems to think it's the biggest story since the New Deal. For shame.
Stupid People - Now I know this is very, very broad and I know that I've written a thousand columns on this brand of human but I couldn't think of another way to describe some of the people I have to encounter on a day to day basis at work. (This isn't your job? No, this isn't my job. No one's paying me...yet.) One of the small tasks I take care of at NBC is giving studio tours. Usually you get people that are super excited to be there and love your shows. Well a lot of the time you get people that look like they just attended 17 consecutive funerals. No smiles, no laughter, no enthusiasm. Why bother going on the tour if you don't care for anything on it? Why spend the money to be walked around a television studio for an hour and twenty minutes if you would rather be a thousand other places? This isn't even little kids being dragged around by their parents. These are full grown adults that willingly come on the tour. What is wrong with you people? It's a tv studio; not an amusement park. What were you expecting? God, I hate these people.
Being A Horse - Even if you're not a horseracing fan, the Triple Crown races are kind of cool to watch. The Kentucky Derby comes and you basically pick the horse with the coolest name to win because well, let's face it, you know dick about horseracing. So you plunk down $20 that Risky's Cameltoe will win on the 20-1 odds he's given. So for the next two minutes you're yelling at the tv for a horse you never gave two shits about five minutes ago to beat 12 other horses around a mile and a quarter track. This is kind of fun on some weird level and you get to do it two more times. (Unless of course you're an OTB fanatic in which case you may need to seek help...and an accountant.) These two more times are The Preakness and Belmont Stakes in Baltimore and Belmont, NY respectively. The thing is, entering The Preakness there is Triple Crown fever because the winner of the Derby is expected, and hoped, to win the final two legs of the Crown which hasn't happened since 1978. This year's case was with the horse Barbaro. He cleaned house at the Derby and then proceeded to snap his ankle in half 200 yards into The Preakness. The poor horse took 23 screws to his ankle. Basically, if he lives it'll be something short of a miracle. So basically my point is this; why in the hell were horses created so top heavy with all of their weight supported by four incredibly frail legs? That's just sick and sadistic, God. Just sick. Now gimme 50 bucks on Saltyballlicker to place.
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