The U, The U, The U Is On Fire

I have a lot of links to get to (I've had more free time at work to round 'em up). However, there's something way more important and interesting to get to so those links will appear next Monday.

I'm sure most of you have heard of this already but for those that haven't, the University of Miami is under fire again. Within the last couple of days a nine minute untitled rap song found its way online. This song, like 96.84% of all rap songs, illustrates what it's like to "bang hos" in various ways with various "home boys". I'm not sure why I quoted those phrases.

What's the connection you ask? At least one, if not most, of the voices are those of UM football players.

The track was recorded about two years ago, and if you're at all familiar with the UM campus (and I know many of you are), you'll know where Mahoney Residential College is located. Mahoney is where most of Miami's football players are housed, most notably on the 6th and 7th floors. That's how it was when I was there. And wouldn't you know it, apparently this song was created my senior year!

The group of about seven or eight guys who call themselves the "7th Floor Crew" ripped off a lovely nine minute epic that is by any and all accounts a masterpiece of sorts. Allow me to quote a few lyrics. I hear this is also called "dropping some knowledge." Also, I will not censor these lyrics; I'm not Tipper Gore and if you're offended by and/or take this stuff seriously, just get off my website. There are far worse things happening in your parent's bedroom than this. (Did that gross you out? Sweet.)

"She thought Five Two was just my number then she realized / you multiply the bitch up then you get my dick size"

If you're familiar with the UM football team at all you'll know that number 52 is linebacker Tavares Gooden. He, in a stroke of genius, called himself T. Good on the track prior to ripping off those lines.

Now you see why this ESPN.com article happened.

How did anyone hear of this in the first place? Well, first it was posted on deadspin.com and then yesterday ESPN.com received word from UM sophomore Kyle Munzenrieder and his blog miamity.com that the song existed and was available to the public.

Kyle, like everyone else with half a brain cell, figured this was old news and posted the song thinking everyone would have a nice laugh. ESPN.com contributing writer Pat Forde didn't think so and neither did UM Athletic Director Paul Dee.

So fast forward to last night and ESPN.com has this story front page (!) and all of a sudden "the program could be in serious jeopardy."

Here's my problem.

As previously stated, a vast, vast, vast, vaaaaast majority of rap songs are about/include/remind us of boinking (to borrow a term from Road Trip) fine young women. This isn't anything new. For the most part we accept this music and move on with our lives. But God help us if some 18-21 year-old kids record something of the same ilk. God forbid college student-athletes have fun in their free time and record a song.

I understand that it's "degrading and demeaning to women". Yes, yes, yes. We've heard it all before, people. But you know what? It's just a damn song. There are about 50,000 things worse they could have been rapping about. Here, I'll give you a few examples in case the mood strikes one lazy December morn: sodomizing chickens, mass genocide on anything, political extremes, Sesame St., FEMA. The list goes on, people.

Ok, so maybe we can forget this issue. I see your point. Oh but wait, these student-athletes play for the University of Miami? The same school that was dubbed Thug U back in the late 80's/early 90's??! Oh no. No, see now it means something completely different. Completely ignore the fact that Miami has distanced itself from that image by light years and that no player has been arrested in the last four years under Head Coach Larry Coker's tenure. That doesn't mean anything. This school has a history!

Listen Pat Forde and every other idiot that blows things out of proportion, we don't need you completely exaggerating the fallout of this "scandal". It does no one any good you know what? No one would have made a stink about it if you and the rest of the ESPN.com crew put it up on page one. I checked every other credible sports website today while at work (pssst, my paycheck comes from the same pockets as yours Pat) and I didn't see any links to stories about this. CNN didn't have anything, MSNBC didn't have anything nor did CBS Sportsline or SI.com.

You know what most of those including our employer had tucked away hidden under links? Georgia Tech's Reuben Houston returning to practice despite the fact he's facing drug felony charges. Hmmm, way to be fair to all universities Mr. Forde. How about you and that crack staff get your heads out of your asses and don't bury a program that has worked so hard to get away from Thug U.

The song recorded by these players, two years ago if you forgot already, is nothing unlike what we hear on the radio nowadays. The fact that the authors play for a powerhouse football program should not change the significance of the story one iota. This story being blown out of proportion is the biggest joke since Philadelphia signing T.O. thinking "maybe he's changed".

My heartfelt apologies go out to Munzenrieder whom I talked to last night. He seemed pretty exhausted by the whole ordeal and having to face the figurative shitstorm today. God only knows what kind of dirty looks and threats he's received from classmates and others. Yes ESPN.com got their information from him. But my company blew it out of proportion. I'm sorry to all Hurricanes fans out there because this is not what I stand for. If I had any kind of leverage at ESPN I'd make sure this kind of journalistic feces never graced the pages of the usually respected website.

The minute we heard about this is most likely the reason why any authority figure at Miami heard about this. Otherwise it's just another goofy prank (if you can even call it that) that some teenagers pulled TWO YEARS AGO! There are people facing drug felony charges on other schools but this rap song causes more problems because of a stigma caused by football teams from 15 years ago. This is one of the few times I'm ashamed I share a business card with another person at ESPN.

And just out of spite to the powers that let this get blown out of proportion, I'm linking you to the song right here. Listen, laugh, sing along (the beat and hook are a take-off of human beatbox Rahzel, if you've heard of him) and enjoy.

"7th Floor Crew"