Linksadaisy!

Ok, so I messed up. I promised you all I'd update the day before Thanksgiving with a crapload of links with hilarious commentary. I forgot that where I would be would not have the software needed to upload the content. Soooo, I couldn't even update to tell you I couldn't update. So here you go.

If you wonder how stupid people come into this world, this article might have some insight. Kimberly Stewart (the daughter of Rod) is about to marry Talon of the MTV crapfest "Laguna Beach." First of all, how is this news? I didn't even know Rod Stewart had a daughter nor do I care that she's getting married and especially if it's to some reality TV hack turned wanna-be musician. C'mon AP, you're better than that.

By now you've heard of Michael Jackson entering the ladies rest room in Dubai. If you haven't, then that's the punchline.

This story is outstanding. Public shaming in front of your peers. I love it. Why was this woman scolded and indirectly forced to resign as principal? Ok ok, wait. So the girl who allegedly stole the $5 didn't really steal the $5. However, my point is if she had, that would have been a great way to discipline her. Leading her around to each class so that everyone knew what a greedy little assclown she is? C'mon, that's just reasonable. I guarantee you that girl doesn't steal again...ya know, if she had actually stolen the money. Acceptance by your peers is something that every kid leans on. And if they all think you're a dick because you stole something then you ain't doing it again. Give that woman a Nobel!

If Madonna plagarized someone from Belguim would anyone care? Well the answer is a rounding no. I'm not sure it surprises anyone either. She rips off everything else anyway. Kabballah, British accents, and now this. Crazy broad. Where's that principal at!?

Apparently Americans as a whole are getting married at later ages these days. This study says that we shouldn't wait too long though. However, not too early. I'm looking in your direction deep south. I know you like them youngn's but simma downa. The study says between 23-27 is the best time to get married. The study would go on to say "Diane, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said, will you ever forgive me?"

To cap off our linksfest we go down unda. There's this broad, she's French, not that we should hold it against her, but there's this broad who tried to open an airplane door to go out and have a smoke at about 37,000 feet. She was unsuccessful. A flight attendant stopped Frenchie McDrunkass from sucking the airliner's contents out for a surprise skydive sans parachute. So why did this chick try and open the door? Oh, she just took some sleeping pills with booze. Ambien and Samuel Adams - always a good decision.