Company softball update, we're 2-3 and I'm batting .500. We played pretty poorly early on in today's game - too many defensive lapses and we didn't start hitting til the 7th inning. That's no good. Gotta pick it up.
Onto to the poontang!
Danica Patrick
This lovely young lady, as you can see, is a racecar driver. Yup, she drives Indy cars about 220 mph. Yup, she has more balls than me and she's on this list - amazing huh? Regardless she is a super cute 23 year-old from Arizona and is sadly, and regretably engaged. What an asshole that guy is. By the way, this is probably the only time you'll see an athlete on this list. Because, and I quote Homer Simpson, "...if the Bible has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such."
Stacy Keibler
Don't watch WWE wrestling? Well maybe you'll want to now. This super asstastic hottie throws down every Monday night on WWE Raw. According to a recent interview she loves being single in L.A. and having fun. Which I can only assume means having freaky-naughty sex with complete strangers who are far less attractive and wealthy than the douchebaggery that surrounds her in that smogpit. I'm not bitter, I swear.
Shanna Moakler
Well, there's two ways to look at this: you watch MTV all the time and knew about her show Meet the Barkers, or happened upon the channel and saw her knoodling with her husband Travis Barker, the far more talented third of the power metal supergroup, I mean crapfest, Blink 182. Shanna is well...she's freakin' hot. She's also super lazy and enjoys to hump. Which means she's the female version of myself. Which is both scary and yet strangely arousing...I'll be right back.
Taylor Cole
Again, if you've watched MTV before, then you've probably seen this girl. For the record, she's far hotter than this picture may lead you to believe and she still looks doable in it. She's been featured in Sans Testicles's, I mean, Ryan Cabrera's video for the song "True". Which, if I'm not mistaken, is all about his obsession with anal beads. You may have also seen her as the lush in the latests video from Papa Roach (Scars). Anyway you want to slice it, this girl is super fine. And really, that's all you can ask for. Well, that and no gag reflex.
Adriana Lima
I know you've seen those super sweet Victoria's Secret commercials. No? Well then I know you've diddled yourself to pictures of her in the catalog. She sometimes appears borderline too skinny, and yes there is a "too skinny". But I mean, that exotic face (God bless South America) and her shelf more than make up for it. Does she have any real talent besides striking seductive come-hither poses? Probably not. But I hear she does a lovely ping pong ball trick.
Cindy Taylor
Ok, so maybe she's not that unknown. She's Brooke Burke's replacement on E!'s Wild On. And those are some mighty big cups to fill. But Cindy has filled them nicely. I mean, if I were ever to watch E!, I would definitely put her in my rundown. Unfortunately most of the programming on that network resembles what I leave in my toilet bowl. But Cindy, you are the scrubbing microbubbles that clean it. What are those called again? Ha, apparently they're called Scrubbing Bubbles. Who came up with that name?! What a jackass. Oh, and Cindy's super hot.
(I hope the blondes are happy now that I've made half the list blondes.)
No comments:
Post a Comment