The Over/Under: November 2004

Well this month flew by didn't it? And since I forgot to do a Shameless Plug of the Month last time I will do two this time. Here goes.

#1 - Mama Celeste frozen pizzas - helping cure hangovers since 1998.
#2 - R&G: Rhythm and Gangsta - Snoop's new album will rock ya socks off.

Oh and by the way, I would totally put the election under the Overrated section but I'm so sick of talking about it that I'm not going to waste my breath. You know what I think of that.

Underrated

Wrap Parties - As you probably know, I worked ESPN's Dream Job for the past 10 weeks. Well, we had our wrap party right after the final episode on November 9. Basically ESPN rents out a bar in Manhattan for 4 hours and you can drink whatever you want...for free. (in James Lipton voice) Simply brilliant. Imagine knoodling with Stuart Scott, Stephen A. Smith, Woody Paige and other ESPN personalities plus all the friends you made working on the show plus all the cute production girls. Oh and plus all the production girls' hot friends that somehow got in even though they didn't work on the show. (JL voice again) Scrumtrulescent. Well, all of it except when I missed my train home, which is the last one leaving Grand Central at 1:30 in the AM. That part sucked. But man, wrap parties are fun. Get yourself on a TV show damnit.

The Incredibles - Pixar, you've done it again you brilliant bastards. Can they ever go wrong? Seriously, every movie they put out is a huge hit. I think the last three PG movies I've seen have all been Pixar films. Excellent writing that shits on most TV sitcoms and casting Samuel L. Jackson seals the deal. Any movie with him in it is cash. I mean, the worst he's been in was The Negotiator probably. And even that was interesting. And you know what? Who wants to take odds that before it's all said and done Pixar will make a porn? It's gotta happen sometime. The over/under's 10 years. Who's in!?

Thanksgiving break - If somehow you can realize how boring living in Connecticut by yourself is, then you'll how boring and monotonous my life can be. Except for Thanksgiving weekend. This is when all your high school friends come back from work or school elsewhere and it's just like old times. Also, it's the first time I've drank four nights in a row post-graduation. Drunken bowling, wine over the holiday, playing Asshole and Kings with champagne and Jack Daniels. That's quality right there. For those still in college, savor it. Savor it like Kathy Griffin savors celebrityism. Which reminds me, how is she still getting work?

Overrated

Centrum vitamins - I started taking Centrum Performance this past month. You know, because I'm a lazy fatass. And by fatass I mean I'm barely starting to get that beer gut I had in college. (And all the girls now hate me. Yay for high metabolism!) So I figured the vitamins would make me feel better and I'd be less tired and more agile and stronger and whatever. What's the word they use? Oh yea, more vitality! That sounds like a Cialas commercial or something. Anyway, I'm convinced Centrum is a crock. I feel the same and actually my sleep has gotten progressively worse. Screw you Centrum and your phantom pills!

Bill Parcells - What the crap. I got all excited when I heard former Michigan Wolverine and New York Yankee, Drew Henson was going to be the Thanksgiving day starter for the Dallas Cowboys. After all, he went 6-6 for 47 yards and a touchdown against one of the best defenses in the league (Baltimore) the week before. This was after geritol quarterback Vinny Testaverde started crying, "I've fallen and I can't get up!" But Parcells benched Henson for Vinny in the second half. Granted Vinny played decent enough to win the game but I mean, c'mon, they played the Bears. That team has no defense. I think they called up LaSalle high school from California or something. Anyway, Bill says he's doing what he thinks will give the team the best chance to win. But you know what, Bill? The 'Boys are 4-7. I'm aware the NFC sucks this year but we ain't makin' the playoffs. You've acknowledged Henson is the future and Vinny's like 63 years old or something. Just start the kid.

New England weather - Ok, I just experienced autumn for the first time in four years. And I thought I missed it but yeaaaa...not so much. It's gorgeous in like late September-early October when it's still kind of warm out with that cool crisp in the air and the leaves are changing colors. But now it's almost winter and it's ugly and cold out. And it's not quite cold enough for it to snow either. That's the worst. If I'm going to freeze my cajones off it might as well snow. I now really miss Miami. And I'm seriously considering moving back. I always thought I wouldn't want to live in Miami and I don't think I want to raise my inevitable family there, but for now I'd rather deal with consistent warmth than this crap. I liked coming home for Thanksgiving and Christmas and having a taste of New England winter - that was fine. But this just blows. And it's only getting worse. Ugh, get me outta here!