As I'm writing this, it is late on Wednesday December 22 - just three days away from Christmas. And yet I'm not in the spirit at all nor have I been. This year is different. I'm out of college and no longer a "kid". Now it's work work work. Well, ok...I haven't had much of that until the last couple of weeks but nevertheless I cannot find a cell in me that is excited for the holiday. I'm looking foward to Christmas probably as much as Dubya is for January 30.
(Yea uh, that's when Iraq elections are supposed to take place for those too busy singing along to their Trick Daddy and My Chemical Romance cd's to realize what's going on in the world.)
I'm so not in the mood this year that I haven't even noticed decorations put up around town or really got excited about putting up my Christmas tree like I used to. And buying gifts for my family? Yea, I told my parents to pick out some stuff they wanted in this store and I went in and picked up the bag of stuff that was on hold. Then I asked my sister what she wanted and said, "Ok, cool. I'll get that." The weird thing is, the rest of my family is kind of doing the same thing. There's no surprises this year. Except for what my dad and mom got each other. Although I could be wrong. I feel like I'm Marty McFly going back in time to a previous Christmas where I know what's going to happen. And then I accidentally take my mom on a date...wait, what? Ok, see....wait nevermind...I just got distracted because The Big Lebowski just came on Comedy Central. Shut the F@#& Donny!!!
Anyway. I'm working at College Sports TeleVision right now. Freelance stuff logging tapes. Basically you watch tapes and type the timecode and what's happening down in Excel. It's very monotonous and easy and the producers like hiring us youngin's to do their dirty work. But whatever, it's a few bucks. The people are cool and it's good to make as many contacts as possible. And by contacts I mean people in the biz I can network with and not 2-bit cornerjockeys I can buy an ounce of crystal meth and get the clap from.
I do have a big time interview coming up though. ESPN...as in the worldwide leader in sports. I will no doubt wow them with my, including but not limited to, broodish good looks, charm, charisma, intelligence, and of course, talent. By the way, you're probably reading this on Thursday, which is, of course, opposite day. (wah waahhhh)
Oh and I suppose getting sick this December hasn't helped my spirits. Is it normal to get sick right before the holidays? Like when you're supposed to be all happy and cheery and the work piles up and you have to buy gifts for everyone and the stress and the hustle and bustle. And you get sick on top of it. Man, growing up blows goats. I think I'll take less privilege if I get less responsibility. Well, how about we stop at 18? Just enough of both.
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this and at this point I've probably sucked out any of the holiday cheer you had in you at the beginning. Which I think is hilarious because it's always more fun to take everyone with you if you're going down. Kind of like Jesus. (silence)...He'suh cookin'uh up somethin''. Remember that whole Apocalypse thing?
Wow, I just turned a Christmas column into a "we're all going to die" column. Why am I now cackling in delight? It's either my insanity or the 13 loaded eggnog smoothies. Just kidding. Or am I? Merry Christmas.
Oh, and to all my Jewish friends. I didn't forget about Hanukkah. Actually, yea...yea, I did. I'm sorry guys, but even you know it's half real, historic event and half jealous-of-Christmas-and-its-Capitalism joke. Hope you had fun two weeks ago and I loved The Hebrew Hammer. True story. Now let's all get va schnicken, oi!
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