The Funeral March (and my biggest fan!)

As you could have expected, I'm going to talk about D-day 2004. But first I want to make a quick note on something I find hilarious.

Over the past three or four columns I've actually had someone so passionate about my columns that they have emailed me. However the emails have been all negative. Each time I read the three emails I crack up. They heckle and accuse me of not knowing anything about what I'm talking about (usually politically). What's funny is, everything I've said about politics is factually accurate. You can look it up. The difference is, some people agree with what those facts say and others don't.

What's funnier about this is that this person is too much of a pussy to say who they are. If you see to the left there's a feedback link which opens up your email software, be it AOL or Outlook or whatever. Your email would show up. However this person reads the "rough draft" site that I use to actually write these articles. It's a blogger site from which my webmaster copies and pastes into the slickly designed site you are reading. The heckler, somehow, found the address to the blog site and reads that as opposed to the real site. When one wants to comment on an article there, an anonymous feedback email is sent.

So basically, this loser feels they are cool by heckling me and while making zero sense in the process. I love it. I wish they would do it more. Maybe I'll start posting them if they're really funny. So heckler (and I have a damn good idea who it is), if you want to email me your comments, maybe you should sack up and say who you are. You've got some strong opinions - let's see who the tough guy (or girl) is. Make my day.

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On to the election. So...who wants to move to Canada? Yea, we're pretty much all going to die now. At least Bush's incompetence in letting the assault weapons ban expire will let us buy AK-47's so we can go hunting for dipshits.

I guess the moral of the story is: never underestimate the voting power of morons. Uninformed, ignorant assclowns make up most of the middle of the country whereas the informed, knowledgeable ones are on the coasts...hence the blue states. What's really funny is how middle America is all "we love America and want to defend it". Yes, I think we can all agree with that. However...

NO F@%KING TERRORIST IS COMING FOR YOU!!

They do not give a rat's ass about farms. They do not give a rat's ass about your goddamned cows and ranches and trailers. Al Qaeda wants to kill more than just 5 people per square mile. They want to kill 2,374 p/sm, capitalism, and commerce and do you know where those things are heavily located? New York, Los Angeles, Boston, Miami, DC, San Francisco, Philadelphia, and Seattle. The only exceptions being Dallas and Chicago. But still, those eight markets far outweigh Dallas and Chicago. You know what? I'll throw in St. Louis. And if you call in the next 10 minutes, Detroit too!!

I would bet the Cardinals to win the Super Bowl before I bet that Al Qaeda would try to kill anyone in the middle of the country. Unfortunately you religious psychos have the same vote informed more-prone-to-terrorism people do.

It really is a shame. This coupled with the fact that Kerry's campaign was probably rated at about a B-. He should have easily won this election if he had not made so many mistakes. Any pundit/news channel will tell you that. Go ahead, I'll wait for you to watch 10 minutes of CNN.

So now we have Dubya for another four years and half this country (the people who are most affected by terrorist threats) fears for its life even more. I don't understand how the safety of our homeland was a bigger deal for the middle America quacks than unemployment. Hello!? Under Bush you guys lost up to a quarter of your jobs. What's not to get? Bush's approval rating has slumped to an all-time low, people believe the economy is shittier than it was four years ago and the deficit is the highest its ever been. And no one's going to attack you!!

Congratulations Bush fans. You've screwed this country again. And now the rest of the world knows how stupid we are. That if we can be pumped with fear by a jackass, fellow jackasses that are less prone to terrorism will rally behind him. It just makes no sense. The rest of the world is laughing at us and is angry with us. Any knowledgeable person saw how obvious a choice this was and we allowed complete idiots to make it.

And to all the people that say, "all you people that are mad cause Bush got re-elected and want to move to canada are traitors." Um, maybe! If you want to call people who are scared for their lives because they're labeled American, then yes. We're all traitors. We're traitors who have more to lose with Bush in office. We're traitors who are more likely to be attacked by terrorists with Bush in office. We're traitors who will lose more money with Bush in office. If wanting to protect one's self from death and bankruptcy is being a traitor, well then where do I sign up?

Enjoy your country you ignorant boobs.