Say F-ing Chowduh. What did I witness last night? What the hell was that? You know what? There are about 94725728 columns written or being written about this series right now...and I'm going to write the next one...well, because I can.
Very rarely is it OK to yell, "Wooooooo, Yeeaaaa!!" with assloads of Yankee fans around you when something bad happens to New York. But last night at the Horseshoe, a bar in Southport, it was more than OK. The place was at least half full of Sox fans. Even before the game started you knew Yankee fans were finally feeling what everyone else in baseball feels every once in a while -- and almost every year for Boston fans. They felt their underpants heavy with their own fecal matter. Can I write that? Oh well, I just did. Yankee fans were scared, and then...Ortiz goes yahtzee.
Can this man do enough? I guess not. Then there's I'm-Sorry-I've-Done-Absolutely-Nothing-So-Far-Here's-How-I-Make-Up-For-It Johnny Damon. Two homeruns, the first of which was a grand salami, six RBI's? The Sox really do have Jesus in the outfield! Suddenly there's a lot more Damon Disciples than the dozen or so in the Fenway bleachers.
It was hard not to be just a little nervous throughout this game though. I mean, this is the Yankees and they always find a way, right? Not this time, pointdexter. Joe Torre finally mismanaged if just a little. Joe Torre's worst fear --that people will finally realize how poor his players really are -- came true. I mean, c'mon. Kevin Brown? Javier Vasquez? Esteban Loaiza? You're resting your Game 7 hopes on these clowns? And then there's the overpaid super-de-duper Douchebag over at third base, Mr. Alex Rodriguez. Man, I cannot wait for the stories my friends give me next month. He's from Miami and goes into the UM weightroom to work out so I'm sure many friends of mine will say something like, "Dude, we saw A-Rod in the Wellness Center and started yelling and throwing shit at him. What a pussy." That'll be so sweet.
I can't believe it. First team in baseball history and only the third team in the major four sports to come back and win a playoff series down 0-3. The Red Sox celebrated an American League pennant in Yankee Stadium, on the collective pride of every Yankee fan and the ghost-balls of Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all those other greats. They doused each other in champagne in Yankee Stadium. I wouldn't be surprised if Theo Epstein (the Sox general manager) convinced the grounds crew at Fenway to mow a middle finger pattern into the infield grass replacing the Sox symbol. It's that sweet.
Finally someone wiped that stupid smirk off Jeter's face. Finally the Yankee fans, Douchebags and real fans alike, can shut up. They know how the rest of us feel. The Yankee 1996-2004 Dynasty is over. $185 million wasn't enough. George Steinbrenner is shelling out pink slips today like it's going out of style. I think his coronary/tyrannical tirade is worth the price of admission alone.
So I was a game off in my Say Chowduh piece. So it took them 7 games - oh well. Next up, the Cardinals or Astros. Either way the World Series opens at Fenway for the first time in I don't know how many years. (The '86 Mets series started in Queens.) That's shocking in its own right. But for now all anyone that hates the Yankees has to say, and there's TONS of them, is this:
Say Chowduh!!!
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