The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

So I work freelance on this show called Dream Job. You may have heard about it. It's a reality contest between wannabe Sportscenter anchors who battle it out over 10 weeks or so to win a contract with ESPN. ESPN is, as we all know, the leader of original entertainment. (silence...) Listen people, I know I'm not fooling anyone with that statement but the people are really nice and they pay me so what do you expect? Anyway, this past Tuesday we had an airtime change from 7pm to 12 midnight. But of course our calltime wasn't changed for this one day so I had to be at 52nd and 11th in NYC at 8:30am which means I had to get my ass up at 6am. I forgot there was a 6am until 3 weeks ago when I started this gig.

Now what do I do? I'm a stand-in. What does that mean? Basically throughout the day we rehearse the show and then tape it later on in the evening. When we rehearse, we rehearse mainly for the production team so they know what shots they want and which cameras to pick. Basically I stand in for the contestents and judges and mock what each would say. It's simple and it pays pretty well and I get to meet the execs and other important people at ESPN like host and Sportscenter anchor Stuart Scott, sportswriter Woody Paige, and NBA Analyst Stephen A. Smith. Stuart is pretty funny and gets along with everyone while Woody is an all-around nice guy. Stephen A.? Very nice guy even though he would seem like an arrogant ass on TV. He's serious and very bluntly critical. And it's freakin' hilarious.

Anyway, that's what I do on Tuesdays. However this past Tuesday, things went a little less smoothly than normal. Usually it takes the crew a little bit to get set up between takes - usually between 10-20 minutes. Tuesday it was about 45-60. I don't know who was running the show this day but the schedule was way out of whack. You'd think this is the production manager's responsibility but who knows. Honestly, I'm not sure what the hell was going on. At least a half dozen times they'd say they needed us in position and 20 minutes later they'd say it again...then 20 minutes later again...then maybe 10 minutes later we'd actually do the take.

Let me get this straight. ESPN did this show last year, they're professionals, they've done it twice already this season. Why are we taking 17 hours to shoot an hour long show? We only do 2 takes at the most per segment. That means Stuart might slightly flub a line on the teleprompter or they didn't like the way the contestents were standing. Maybe there's things going on in the control I'm not aware of but to me and all the other stand-in's, the day was about 12 hours too long. Even if you need to do second takes, it should not take all day plus overtime. I want to know what takes all the time. I did crossword puzzles, played Texas Hold'em and played paper/table football...for a combined 9 hours. That means 10 hours of the 17 hour day I sat around and ate lunch and dinner. It's a one hour show, people. After doing this show so many times already why can't they rehearse it one time through and then tape it once through like it's live then go back and retape anything that really needs to be fixed? That would take 5 hours max.

I really don't get it but hey, I'm basically getting paid to sit around all day and pretend to be on the show. Not bad, right? I'm just trying to save ESPN some money, ya know? But feel free to pay me for gambling and playing paper football. Sloth and greed = American dream? That's how you represent America!!