Don't see The Bourne Supremacy - it's horrible. In fact, there are almost no good qualities about it save the semi-cool car chase and the fact that a lot of European stuff got blown to hell. I sat through this finely edited pile of puke for nearly 2 hours. And not once was I unable to predict the next scene...or for that matter any scene thereafter. Matt Damon, Julia Stiles, the wife/mother from Faceoff (remember that awesome flick!?), and "super trooper" captain John O'Hagan. Surely something good has got to come from them, right? Eeeghhh, wrong!
The only one of them that acted any better than "acceptable for the role" was Julia Stiles. In a scene where Damon has taken her aside to threaten information out of her she really does a great job. Aside from that 45 seconds there's nothing special in this film. Not to mention she's the only hottie in the entire flick. If you saw the first of these two movies you might remember the she's-pretty-damn-hot-but-only-because-she's-standing-next-to-way-uglier-Eurotrash girl Good Will Hunting ends up smashing at the end. Well she's back, albeit shortly, in this one...and she looks like someone made her climb to the top of the homely tree, fell off and hit every branch on the way down. And then they stuck her in an India slum for 6 months. Man, if that ain't hot I don't know what is.
(By the way, for those of you out of the loop, "smashing" means to um, well...fornicate, duh!)
Anyhoo, I'm not sure who wrote this pile of dog vomit but...(checks IMDB for credits...wait for it...wait for it...)...someone needs to kidnap Robert Ludlam and Tony Gilroy immediately and demand an explanation as to why they sucked the life out of a decent movie franchise while putting Damon's career even more in the crapper. It just ain't fair, man. What happened to the good old days of The Rainmaker, Dogma, and Rounders?
Another thing - what's up with the "shaky-cam"? Guys, c'mon. We learned this was overused after Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows. (No disrespect to Joe Berlinger as he scored big time with Metallica: Some Kind of Monster and previous works like Brother's Keeper and Paradise Lost.) Maybe director Paul Greengrass (yea, that's his name, I did a double-take as well) thought it would detract from the crappy writing and predictable plot line. Hey Greengrass, you SUCK!
Seriously, I bet you could figure the plot out right now if I gave you 3 clues. Let's try it, shall we?
Clue #1 - Russian criminals frame Damon
Clue #2 - Damon has the skills of James Bond (and the subsequent gadgets and weapons)
Clue #3 - Someone in the CIA is corrupt
Wasn't that nice? I just saved you 10 bucks. You can thank me later. I'd like to think Universal Pictures used the same technique Mr. Burns thought would be a good idea when he chained 1000 monkeys to 1000 typewriters in hopes they'd write the greatest novel (or in this case motion picture) ever written. In honor of C. Montgomery I'm going to sum up my distate of this movie with this:
"'It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times?!' You stupid monkey!"
7.28.2004
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