Beer Battered TV Is Good For You

Maybe I'm way behind everyone else in this country, but I've personally discovered the best show on television.  It's better than reruns of Friends, Family Guy, and Seinfeld.  Now you might be saying, "but C-Punch, there are other good shows on tv that are still airing new episodes."  And to that I say, "exactly". 

(The only good shows on television right now are Family Guy, Seinfeld, The Simpsons, and South Park as far as 30-minute sitcoms are concerned.  Outside of that I'll watch Sportscenter, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Monster Garage, American Chopper, and The Daily Show.)

This show is "Emeril Live".  Dear lord people, how are you not watching this show?  I just watched an hour long episode and he was adding beer to everything: beer battered fish 'n chips, "six-pack" chicken, homemade Guiness ice cream, and beer battered cabbage/bacon thing.  I had just gotten back from a family picnic where I stuffed my face and here I am drooling on my keyboard while watching Emeril. 

You know you're watching a great cooking show when you hear the following phrases:

"we gotta add some beer"

"let's add 2 more beers!"

"screw it, let's add the last 2 beers and we'll go to commercial and then turn it up a notch"

"I call it sixpack chicken!"

"and now we add the bacon..."

"I'm gonna use a dark beer...it's gonna happy this cabbage up"

And my personal favorite...

"hey, you run outta water?  use wine!" 

Let's see - I love food, I love beer, and I love television.  This show is awesome.  It has everything you could want and kept me glued to my tube.  Not since the scene in American Beauty where Kevin Spacey catches his wife cheating on him at the drive-thru window have we seen such a performance on the screen involving food. 

As an afterthought, why isn't this show a requisite for housewives and girlfriends across the country?  Seriously, you know you'd be getting a lot in return if you followed the Cajun cooker.  If you're thinking that that statement was sexist, well, you're right.  But I was never much for equality anyway.  Hey-oh!

Just kidding...but seriously ladies, watch and learn.  We might just get you that generic, over-priced, everyone-who-wants-to-be-cool-has-to-have-it-because-People-magazine-said-so bag.  Ah, conformity.  Women, you can't live with 'em...

...what?  That's it.