Sarah, You Have Some 'Splainin' To Do

"We need change, all right - change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington - throw out the big-government liberals, and elect John McCain and Sarah Palin."

That's from Mitt Romney at the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minnesota Wednesday night. Either Mitt thinks it's 1994 (the last time before 2006 that the Democrats held power in Congress) or he is out of his f*cking mind. Is he not aware we've had a (awful) Republican president for the last eight years and Congress had been in Republican control up until January of 2007? Let's see what other contradictions and hypocrisy we can uncover.

And that seemed to be the theme last night at the RNC. Let's throw a ton of bullshit against the wall aka the TV screens of America and see how much sticks. Well, it's my dire hope that not much did. I pray (and I use that word symbolically) that people in this country that are undecided or teetering can see through the proverbial fecal matter on their trinitrons and plasma screens and see what the Republicans have done this week.

Last night was Sarah Palin's night and she became the queen of the poo-flinging. Lies, distortions, exaggerations all came out of her mouth like pepper shrimp out of Pierce Brosnan's mouth in Mrs. Doubtfire. Very grossly and easily identifiable.

"I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending ... and championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. I told the Congress 'thanks but no thanks' for that Bridge to Nowhere."

Well, that's not true. In her first 20 months as governor of Alaska she requested $750 million of special federal funding, the most per-capita of any state in the country. Oh, and you'd be correct in assuming that $398 million of that was for the Bridge to Nowhere that she originally supported despite the fact it connects the mainland to an island comprised of 50 people and an airport with barely 200,000 passengers a year.

"There is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform - not even in the state senate."

I guess working with Republicans to pass legislation that would seek out and destroy shipments and stockpiles of WMD's (which became law in 2007) isn't a major law. And that's just one example.

What is everyone else saying though?

John McCain: "She's been governor of our largest state, in charge of 20 percent of America's energy supply ... I'm entertained by the comparison and I hope we can keep making that comparison that running a political campaign is somehow comparable to being the executive of the largest state in America."

Actually, it's only the largest state in the category of landmass. It's 47th in population and she has no control over the oil there. She can only tax it just like George Bush could only tax all the oil in Texas.

"She's the commander of the Alaska National Guard. She has been in charge, and she has had national security as one of her primary responsibilities."

True, she is the commander of the ANG. Funny story though, whenever the National Guard needs to respond militarily, you know, like actually do stuff, they report directly to the Defense Department...over her head. Therefore her responsibilities are basically nothing when it comes to the National Guard. I think she might make them lunch though.

Lest you forget about John's pill-popping wife, Cindy...

"She has made a lot of foreign policy decisions. She's very experienced...Alaska is so close to Russia."

By the way, this whole foreign policy by proximity point has been made by many Republicans in the past week. However, that just makes it even more laughable. I don't seriously believe any of these people actually believe what they're saying. This is what we call blind loyalty to get your party elected.

There are many other lies like Mike Huckabee saying that Palin received more votes when she ran for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got in his 2008 presidential bid. Even if you combine both her original and re-election campaigns stats she only received 1,525 votes. Biden received over 76,000 before he bowed out last winter. Apparently they don't teach math in Arkansas or he's just another lying Republican trying to walk the party lines.

The point is this. Before we talk about the fact that no Republican this week has talked about the economy and how they'd fix, before we talk about Sarah Palin's complete lack of real experience (being the mayor of 7,000 people and a governor of a state smaller than Austin, TX is considered real executive experience??!), before all that, we need to realize the blatant and unbelievably absurd amount of horseshit being lobbed at the American people.

It's one thing to disagree on policy issues. Palin and McCain are pro-life, Biden and Obama are pro-choice. These are the kinds of debates we can honestly have and should be having. I have my opinion on that particular issue but it doesn't matter anymore. It isn't the point. The point is deception. I'm not so naive that I don't believe the Democrats lie and twist things a little to prove their point from time to time. I'm sure they do. But if they are doing that this time, they're doing a hell of a job hiding it.

With the internet, the political landscape and reality in general are so much more transparent. Anyone can find the facts buried under the loads of dung. That means accountability is more important than ever. No one can get away with anything. I won't deny I'm not the first person to write an anti-Palin/McCain article. Hell, the last entry from last Friday was published almost simultaneously with seven others just like it from news outlets like The New York Times to the Huffington Post to the Washington Post and the Daily Kos to CNN and MSNBC. There's a reason we're all attacking her. There's a reason we're all calling shenanigans.

Because as journalists (yea, why not, I'll call myself a journalist) we're supposed to dig and find the truth. Chris Matthews said the exact same thing on his show, Hardball, yesterday. The biggest thing that pisses me off that comes out of the media trying to do its job is the idea that the media is being sexist.

THE MEDIA IS NOT BEING SEXIST.

Anyone that thinks so needs to get a reality check. If you have zero experience, blatantly lie about your opponent, have possible legal trouble and try and cover up said legal trouble and your 17-year-old daughter's pregnancy (that by itself is not an issue) when you yourself support laws that would strip rights away from the family and give them to the government when you hypocritically ask everyone to let your family deal with it (that is an issue), the media will and should come down on you.

All run-on sentences aside, you are going to feel the wrath of the truth beating you over the head. When Fox News analyst and former George Bush ventriloquist, Karl Rove says that Governor Tim Kaine of Virginia doesn't have enough experience (3 years) and whose city he was mayor of isn't big enough (200,000) and then just a month later says that Sarah Palin has plenty of experience (20 months) and was a mayor of a big enough city (7,000) you start to smell the stench of manure. You start to realize this is a microcosm of everything the conservative side of America stands for. It's a disgrace and all of them should be ashamed of themselves.

(By the way, in case you really want to get pissed off, here are the links for those two soundbytes. Thanks YouTube.

Rove on Kaine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-jrk2e0MMs
Rove on Palin: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9I_5F3qXYo&feature=related)


No one honestly cares about Bristol Palin and her d-bag boyfriend. No one cares that Trig has Down syndrome (though we're all sympathetic to idea of the disability). No one cares that all of her children were seemingly named by either blindly pointing to a list of "Strange Town Names of America" or "words no one ever uses". No one cares that her husband got a DUI 19 years ago. No one cares she has a strange accent. And no one cares she was the runner-up in the Miss Alaska pageant in 1984. No one effing cares. Those facts are not important in this debate, in this campaign, in this entire political field.

What we, the media, and subsequently the American people care about is the deception and begotten from that deception, the acquired knowledge that John McCain has no freakin' idea what he's doing anymore. That is the problem. That is what Americans need to realize is what's going on here.

Would you ever think that Republicans would actually admit they're full of shit about Sarah Palin? That all this enthusiasm and defense of her is feigned? That they in their heart of hearts and their minds (They're not stupid people by any means, the strategists and politicians at least. The citizens are a different story.) know that John McCain and Sarah Palin are the completely wrong choice and cannot win based on the truth? Nah, no way, no how - right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrG8w4bb3kg

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Oh and remember that whole thing about Obama being the elitist and being out of touch with America. Say what you want about his Columbia and Harvard education but take this nugget of info as another microcosm of what the McCains are all about (them and their seven houses). Cindy McCain's entire outfit including that hideous gold dress from a couple nights ago cost, according to Vanity Fair, roughly $300,000. I'm sure that's something the lower and middle class families in the Rust Belt can really relate to.

Lies, deception, exaggeration, hiding the truth. Welcome to your Republican Party.

It's an absolute outrage and a slap in the face to every American that we are subjected to the McCain/Palin ticket as a legitimate option for the presidency.

One last tidbit before you storm the Capitol in a fit of rage. Remember that whole rumor about Trig not being Sarah's son and really being Bristol? Remember how the conspiracy stated that Bristol was out of school with mono for five months (three months longer than the longest one would normally suffer from the virus) and that that was a cover-up because she was actually pregnant? And remember how it's easier to have a child with mental disabilities when you're much older but also much younger? Remember when Sarah Palin was dripping amniotic fluid in Texas and decided to give her speech anyway before traveling 17 hours back to Wasilla to deliver the baby? And remember when all the photos of her when she was supposedly seven months pregnant seem to show no physical change from a regular Sarah Palin especially when compared to photos of her seven months pregnant with her other children? And lastly, remember when out of the blue Palin admitted her daughter was five months pregnant last week to dispel these very rumors? Remember all of that?

Here's the deal. I'm willing to believe Trig is her son and that all of the conspirators info is false. I'll bite. But if that's the case and she didn't conduct one of the greatest conspiracies in modern political history then she is the worst mother on the planet. Here's a little graph to help you follow.

http://img364.imageshack.us/img364/4628/sarahpalinla4.png

Yea. Oh, and don't be surprised if "out of nowhere" Bristol has a miscarriage with her current child. I'm not saying, I'm just saying.

So kudos to you Republicans. This is your ticket. Two people with horrible judgement, a complete lack of ethics, and the balls to lie and distort every shred of truth all to win an election. That is not country first. That is yourself first. That is Joe Leiberman pandering to Barack Obama in 2006 to get re-elected to the Senate and then bashing him yesterday to promote John McCain. That is Karl Rove saying 200,000 people isn't big enough but 7,000 is. That is Cindy McCain and every other Republican operative essentially telling you that since her proximity to Russia equals foreign policy experience that than apparently I should run the INS because I live two and a half hours from Mexico. That is John McCain calling himself a maverick despite voting along with George Bush nine times out of 10.

That isn't country first. That is f*cking bullshit. And you, my friend, should be enraged at the audacity of these people to think they can convince you otherwise.