Florida (and Michigan) F'ing Things Up Again

So you're telling me there's a chance!!

That's what Hillary Clinton is thinking right now. Well, maybe a couple weeks ago more than today. Talks have stalled in Michigan and Florida on how to handle the delegate situation in those states. If you have no idea what I'm talking about then you may want to do a bit of reading. But since I feel sorry for you, I'll briefly recap where we're at in this long Democratic Primary season and why we haven't anointed Barack Obama the nominee yet.

The states of Florida and Michigan agreed, along with all other states, to keep the schedule of primaries the Democratic National Committee slated. For whatever reason I'm not aware of, nor does such reason matter at this point, both states decided they wanted to move their primaries ahead of schedule knowing full well they could be penalized by the DNC by doing so. They wanted to do this so that they would be better assured their primaries would matter, in so many words. Well, wouldn't you know it? The DNC got pissed and stripped all the states' delegates from the field. This means that Florida and Michigan will have no say when the delegates officially vote for the nomination of Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama in August at the Democratic Convention in Denver.

Now no one thought anything of this months ago when the primary season opened. All the candidates conceded this and agreed not to campaign in the state of Florida. Well, when the newly-moved-up primaries in both states happened on January 15th (Michigan) and January 29th (Florida) voters turned out and voted. But you might be asking yourself, who did they vote for and if their votes weren't going to count then why bother? Well, I'd like to give those citizens the benefit of the doubt and think that they felt it was their civic duty to vote. That's honorable and commendable and all but who could they vote for if no one campaigned in Florida and everyone knew the states, in simple terms, weren't going to count?

Well, wouldn't you know it, Hillary Clinton was on both ballots. All other candidates agreed not to even put their name on the ballot in Michigan (so you could either vote for Clinton or "uncommitted"). And in Florida, Obama and John Edwards were on the ballot but neither had campaigned there just like every other Democratic nominee including Hillary Clinton. So in essence no one really tried in either state as they agreed to and abided by the the DNC's penalty that neither state would get to seat delegates. Well, almost.

Hillary Clinton, in theory, played by the rules. Although it was kind of a dick move on her part to keep her name on the ballot in Michigan while everyone else made a respectful gesture to remove theirs. And no one really paid too much attention to this little hiccup until Obama started to gain ground on the once thought presumptive nominee Hillary Clinton. Until he swept the entire month of February which included 11 straight victories. Until he carved so deep into her lead in Ohio that she only picked up nine delegates out of the 139 available. Until he carved so deep into her lead in Texas that he, after a week's worth of counting, beat her in Texas in delegates by a 99-94 margin. Hillary claimed victory but the fact of the matter, and what really counts in the primary race, is delegate count and she lost it in Texas despite her campaign's spin. (She won the primary but lost the caucus. I won't try and explain the "Texas Two-Step" here. Look it up yourself - it's retarded.)

So after all this happened and Barack Obama overtook Hillary Clinton in the popular vote lead, the states won lead, and most importantly, the delegate lead, now Senator Clinton thinks Michigan and Florida should count. As is, she says. As is, we ask? How can that be?

No one campaigned in Florida and only Clinton was on the ballot in Michigan. How can those states all of a sudden count?

Well, there's a bit of conflict on this. If we were completely steadfast in our rules they shouldn't count. Hillary should be stuck in her deficit and hope she can win over 65% of the remaining delegates that she would need to overtake Obama in the pledged delegate count. (I won't even get into Superdelegates which Clinton currently leads but only 243-209.)

But I'm not so absolutist. I'm not so cold inside that I can't understand that the voters of Michigan and Florida feel disenfranchised and bitter. After all, it wasn't their fault that their legislatures screwed them over. The voters didn't decide to move up the primaries and risk being penalized. So why make the voters feel the wrath of the penalty? Their voices aren't being heard and that's the biggest crime here.

Here's what we do. We redo both primaries sometime in May. But this time both state governments pay for the elections. $10 million you say it'll cost in Florida? Oh well, you screwed yourself over Florida government. Find a way to pay for it. Oh, and you can't use taxpayer money. Whether it comes out of your own pockets or you have a bake sale, I don't care. Let the people's voices be heard and don't penalize the ones that weren't responsible for the mishap in the first place.

I know it's not as simple as just that. Money doesn't just come from thin air and I'm not an economic genius. But I am positive that overpaid politicians and state Democratic Party officials can find a way to make this happen. Hell, so many of them probably have corporate ties and lobbyists in their pockets that they can take all that dirty money and put it good use. Turn off the lights to all state buildings for one hour every night for a few weeks. That's got to save some money, right? And it'd be good for the environment - a Democratic staple!

The point is the people need to be heard. To let some dumbass kingpins of the party and the state government F it up for everyone else and then refuse to fund a redo themselves is preposterous. No matter how the people vote their voices must be heard. That's what democracy is all about, is it not?

Would this change the outcome of the election? Who knows. But it would make it right. And right now that's what the Democratic party needs as this contest drags on. And in the end, that's what America needs.

(Ok, this column was too serious. Insert fart joke here. Thank you.)