Only in New York!
Yea, only in New York has someone decided it'd be a good idea to jump off the upper deck at Yankee Stadium 40 feet below into the net behind home plate. What a jackass.
This kid, 18-year old Scott Harper from Armonk, NY (a filthy rich town, by the way), reportedly was sitting on the railing and told his friends he wondered if the netting would be able to withstand his weight if he jumped. Clearly ripped out of his skull, I can see this move made as much sense as hiring Michael Jackson to babysit. But why does this type of retarded behavior always happen in New York? And you can't play the, "oh well it gets blown out of proportion because it's New York" card. The jackass jumped off the upper deck of Yankee Stadium. His fate was luckier than that of a fan at a Metallica concert in Baltimore in 2000. That guy fell off the upper deck and died upon impact. This punk just got arrested and charged with a few misdemeanors. But see, Metallica dude accidentally fell. He didn't jump to see how strong the netting was.
And don't get me wrong. I haven't forgotten about the father and son team that attacked a Kansas City Royals first base coach on the field in Chicago a couple years back. There are crazy fans everywhere but that was an isolated occurrence. Two separate people jumped off the upper deck at The Stadium in a five year span (another guy did the same thing in 2000). Maybe we need to cut off the beer sales there or something. Or maybe the $7 per brew is justified 'cause they're spiking the kegs with PCP. Hell, I don't know. I'd believe it. Anything's possible in New York. All I know is that Sox fans that head to the Stadium for the final meeting in the Bronx between Boston and New York in early September need to make some hilarious signs. Something along the lines of "Hey Sheffield, catch me!" would do nicely. Although nothing will ever beat the "Jeter has AIDS" sign I saw at Fenway. Priceless.
In other news...
I recently saw a commercial for this new documentary on the History Channel. It's called "Ape to Man." I'm guessing it has something to do with the evolution of man. I'm also guessing that hardcore Christians are completely dismissing this. Now if you'll excuse me for about 30 seconds, I'm going to laugh hysterically...[pause] ok, I'm good. It's funny to hear these people talk about evolution. They like to completely dismiss obvious and proven fact because they'd rather believe in folk tales, some or all of which are made up and/or embellished. C'mon folks. You think the History Channel is going to waste this kind of time, money, and programming space for shits and giggles? Yea, I don't think so. Get the program you gullible douchebags. I challenge you to take this historychannel.com Ape to Man game. It's called The Missing Link Challenge. And uh, you have to find it - the link that is. (If you are fully Italian and from Staten Island this game clearly isn't for you.) That's the game. The game is not "bitch and moan about how logical evolution sounds in comparison to magic tricks of a being no one is certain exists."
Oh man. How funny is it that there are people that will read that last line and flip out and get all pissy? Yea kids, it's a free country. You can believe whatever you want and I'm not going to bomb you or anything like some certain fundamentalist crazies would. However, I do try and promote knowledge and not spread ignorance. I also like to spread the clap.
That was a joke. Or was it? Hey, look over there! Yoink!
No comments:
Post a Comment