Mamas, Don't Let Your Kids Grow Up To Be PA's

What the F.

Not only does my softball team suck, but this morning I overslept our game. I knew that three of our players wouldn't be able to make and I overslept. I woke up at 8am to hit the John and I thought to myself, "ok, I have another hour." Well, when I next opened my eyes it was exactly 10am...exactly game time. By the time I rolled into the parking lot at 10:23 they had already forfeited and my teammates were just standing around. The first thing they say to me, "aw man, we just needed on more." Well, it's not like it would have mattered anyway. Another teammate overslept and he had all of our bats and equipment.

So not only did I oversleep causing us to forfeit driving our losing streak to five games, but I had to drive the 18 minutes there plus another five sitting in construction delays. Why anyone would do construction on a four lane road bringing it down to one in the middle of the day is beyond me. You're telling me that the best time they could come up with was the middle of the work day to take a four lane road down to one screwing everyone's travel plans. Was the foreman sitting around a table with his coworkers saying, "You know what? I'd like to work on West Ave. from 9am-5pm. I think that'd be the ideal time to shutdown the main artery in Bristol." Way to go, jackass.

Goddamnit, I'm in the worst mood. I'm sure you couldn't tell, huh?

And I apologize for the lack of these articles. I really am. But for some reason each week flies by and I think, "Oh crap, I never wrote anything." I go to work, I get home, I fall asleep. That's kind of how it works. And as much as I love writing these things I also have to write "story ideas" for work. What's a story idea you say? Shut up you moron. It's an idea...with stories on it...that ya jump to.

At any rate, I'm supposed to have 25-30 by the time my seven months is through - that comes out to about a story a week. I have 14 through 15 weeks. I really need to do a new one and I have no idea what to do it on. It feels like every goofy-ass pull-at-your-heartstrings sapfest has been written. Having to do these story ideas is probably the dumbest thing possible. Yes it shows how we think but it doesn't show how well we can do our job. Most of us at my work don't want to climb the internal ladder and be producers at ESPN. Why? Because it's f#%king stupid, that's why. Live television sucks and if anyone else tells you otherwise they're either high or braindead. The turnover rate on my job is ridiculous. We already have a have dozen people quitting in the next two weeks, two of which started the same time I did. That's crazy. I asked one of the guys on my softball team that is leaving why and he replies, "Dude, I've got to get out of here."

I'll tell you what. I can do my job. I can do it well and I know I can do it well. I've had many a supervisor tell me I'm way ahead of the pace. Yea, yea yea. But you know what? I don't care. Live television sucks. There's too much pressure to be, not only 100% accurate 100% of the time, but as much as they say you have creative leeway, you don't. I was basically forced into putting John Elway in my Arena Bowl XIX highlight. Did you see it Sunday? Arena Bowl XIX. It was actually a very good game as much as arena football can be. I got 37 seconds...12 of which was showing John Elway's goofy Mr. Ed smile. Jesus Christ, how many players and ex-players do we have to suck off around here? Jeter, Clemens, Kobe, Jordan, Elway, Rice...um....oh yea..um, Bonds!?

Did you know there was a woman that went on Howard Stern's show that said she wants to set the world record for getting F'ed in the A? I'm not joking. The record right now is like 20 guys or something. She's going to 100 I believe. Well, I'm start to feel like her. While reaching for my goals I'm constantly drilled in the pooper. I think I'll end on that happy image.