Gambling is a wonderful thing...especially if you hit on 90% of your double-down's while playing Spanish 21. Yea, I cleaned house this past Monday night at Mohegan Sun. It was pretty sweet. The pit boss kept rotating two different dealers because I kept doing so well. Imagine Willie Randolph hopping out of the Mets dugout and calling in reliever after reliever. Yea, nothing could stop me. Now not to say that I couldn't go back there next week and lose it all. That's certainly possible. Of course, I won't be going back there next week. But I will eventually and hopefully I'll wipe the floor with that place again. I could use some more free money.
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On Tuesday morning I played my second round of golf of the year. However, it was more of a half of round. I played on some POS 9 hole course because the course I wanted to play at was surprisingly busy. So my friend suggested a place that he heard about where you can always get on. Yea, apparently it's this POS 9 hole course where there's a little shed for a first tee/pro shop. It's retarded. The course couldn't have been in worse shape. I thought I was playing the in the Sri Lanka Open post-Tsunami. The greens were basically dirt and the holes were all under 325 yards long which meant I could nearly drive the green.
Oh and how about the seven (I'm not exaggerating) 12 year-old's playing just in front of us? Had these kids ever played golf before? Understandably it took them many shots to get to the green. But I don't think any of these kids were really there to play golf. They took 27 minutes to play a 128 yard par 3. Seriously. I remember teeing off on the whole behind them as they were set to tee off and when I had finished the hole and walked up to the next tee box they were just walking down the hill toward the green. Were these youngn's circle jerking on the tee or something? Seriously kiddies, let's pick up the pace.
To top things off, the "starter" teamed Stu and I up with some other older guy. He sucked balls. But that's not the point. On one hole he left his little pulley cart (that holds his golf bag) too close to where he was standing while taking his tee shot. He then proceeded to nail said pulley cart with his backswing. I have never seen anyone do this. Three holes later he pulled out his putter instead of a driver on a par 4 tee box as if to tee off with it. He actually realized he had the wrong club as he addressed the ball. This, plus the countless number of inane golf cliches throughout the round, and this guy was top 10 worst golf partners ever.
Breaking the top 5 was the other person we were paired with. As Dave, Stu and I were set to tee off on the first hole a woman walks up with her bag and asks to join. We look at each other and begrudgingly oblige. She notices our pause and says, "I can tee off first and play through." So Dave says (in a brief moment of clarity), "you'll just get caught behind those kids and slow things up more for everyone." So she replies, and I kid you not, "Well I'll play through them too."
Now first off, there are very few women golfers that I would consider good. Michelle Wie, Annika Sorenstam and like maybe 6-10 other LPGA players that I cannot name. I assume every other women's golfer is shooting in the 90's or worse. So after judging her book by her cover, I decided this woman sucked. So the fact that she said she was going to play through not only us, but seven 12 year old's as well was astoundingly retarded.
We said she could play with us and played off that we thought she was retarded. Turns out she does, in fact, suck....real bad. But that's not what made her a bad partner.
On the second tee, after I parred the first with everyone else getting six or higher, I go to tee off. Now let me remind you that in proper golf, the player with the best score from the previous hole has the honor to tee off first. As I'm putting my tee into the ground she says, "You know, women get to tee off first on the white tees." I looked at Stu and he had this "what the f@%k?" look on his face. I allowed her to go first. So apparently we're playing by some sort of crazy set of rules for the course - playing all proper right? I guess that doesn't count for when she re-places her ball in the middle of the hole because she doesn't like her lie. Lady, you are an F'ing retard and I feel very sorry for the 2nd graders you teach.
She also forgot her sand wedge on the 7th which I retrieved for her after two guys yelled to us asking if any of us were missing a club. I thought maybe I had left mine there but it was hers. So she didn't even think to her in her bag after the guy asked if we were missing a club.
To top it all off, on the 9th (and final, ugh) green her ball was about a foot away from mine but about the same distance from the hole. She walks up to her ball to putt and says, "I guess I'll just go since I'm away, is that ok?" I say, "Um, no because you're about to step on my ball so why don't I just go so you'll have a clear standing area." This lady, holy crap, this lady. If someone redid Airheads but made it about female golfers who were stupid bitches, this lady would be the Brendan Fraser. And that's my second round of golf.
Oh yea, I did ok, shot a 42.
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