The Over/Under: February 2005

Did you know that Jennifer Aniston was in Leprechaun aaaand Ferris Bueller...the TV series? The former was on TV Sunday on like TNT or USA or A&E or...or one of those other crappy cable networks that only shows C-list movies and bad reruns of Northern Exposure and Wings. However, I was unaware that in 1990, for a measly 13 episodes, there was a spinoff sitcom called Ferris Bueller and Aniston played the Jennifer Grey role of Ferris's sister Jeane. Amazing isn't it? One day you're saving your father from being slashed to bits by an evil leprechaun because your father tells the leprechaun the last gold coin is in his stomach (breath) and the next you're divorcing Brad Pitt. Oh and there was some crap in the middle that she's known for...like not knowing the difference between the penny tray and jar. (Ohh, ohhhh.)

On to the good stuff!

Underrated

1. Chocolate Lucky Charms - Are you freakin' kidding me? Greatest idea ever. Well besides internet barely legal porn. I didn't just say that...[long silence]...ok, I did. Anyway, General Mills revised Lucky Charms by making those weak-ass "grain" bits chocolate tasting. How freakin' sweet is that (no pun intended)? I mean, Lucky Charms was already pretty damn tasty but you know that you always ended up having like four marshmallows and 27 grain thingys at the end and then you'd single out the marshmallows and dump the remaining milk-soaked grain thingys in the sink. Now you can just eat everything. It's a freakin' bevy (btw, totally my word of the month) of flavor. In the words of Rick, this cereal is "awesomtastic".

2. "Call On Me" music video - Found on the Ultra Dance 06 compilation, this completely random artist (Eric Prydz) created this song. The song sucks. It really does. But the music video is freakin' amazing. Well, the "late night" version anyway. I guess there's a regular version of it but I haven't seen it. Basically this music video is three minutes of hot girls in a souped up aerobics class pulsating and thrusting their pelvises to the beat of this crappy techno song. It is, dare I quote Dan Patrick, "en fuego". (By the way, you can view it by clicking here. And if the link doesn't work, well, sorry. I'm no interweb wiz.)

3. Catalina Sandino Moreno - Have you seen Maria Full of Grace? Ok, have you heard of Maria Full of Grace? Yea, many of you probably haven't. But after watching the Oscars on Sunday, I found out who this scrumptious actress is. In her first ever motion picture role she was nominated for best actress. Uh, that's good or something. I'm debating whether or not she'll be in the next installment of The Hotties List of unknowns. We'll let this picture do the talking.

Overrated

1. NHL lockout - I really only know of two other hockey fans. Seriously. I got a friend in Brooklyn and this guy I just met at ESPN. Oh wait, there's three. My supervisor is a big Islanders fan. (Let's go Rangers!) This whole financial dispute between the players and owners is pissing me off. Understandably the league can't afford to pay the players the assloads of money the players want because not enough fans are into the game enough to generate high enough income to pay them. The fans that are still around however, are very, very passionate about the game including myself. The players need to realize that they can still support their families on $1.3 million (the league average before the lockout, which of course will go down). Greedy bastards.

2. Blue Collar Comedy tour - Are they serious? People actually find these guys funny. It's amazing. I've watched probably a total of three hours of this entire debacle they call the Blue Collar Comedy tour and the only guy that's even remotely funny is Jeff Foxworthy. And he's fading. The rest of the team is a bunch of redneck lowlifes that make gun and Jack Daniels jokes that I might have found funny when I was 12 and didn't know any better. "Git 'er done"? What the f&$k does that mean anyway!? You're not funny!!! I seriously don't get what people see in this thing. All I can see is people thinking we're more ignorant than we really are. And that's really what we (America) need right now, huh?

3. Super Sweet 16 - This show is ridiculous. It's the show on MTV (have I ever said anything nice about MTV?) where they follow around some soon-to-be 16 year-old girl while she gets ready for her sweet 16 party. There's a list of qualifications to be on this show though. And they are:

- Be super rich.
- Be stuck up and spoiled.
- Be so hot you look like you're 20.

This show is the worst argument for jailbait I've ever seen. You watch these girls walk around Hollywood looking through dozens of $4000 dresses all of which are cut so that their boobs are popping out and ass is perfectly framed. It's ridiculous. I don't know how high school boys are competing with college freshmen and sophomores for girls anymore. Seriously. If a girl is that hot and that young there is no way anyone younger than 18 is getting her. No way. Even the hottest guy in high school is still getting stuck with the sorta hot 2nd team cheerleader. I mean, it's got to be so awful for guys like 20+ because you have these girls that are retardedly hot yet if you said so, or worse, acted on it, you'd be labeled a skeevy pedophile in training. There'd be a (wait for it...) bevy of R. Kelly's running around. Such a shame. But I digress...

PS - sorry for saying "freakin'" so much. I just got finished watching Family Guy. Hehehehehehehehe, sweeeet.