The New National Pastime (In Tournament Form)

So apparently I was had. That whole bonsai kittens thing? Yea, it's a sick joke. Which is why I say "touche" and not "F you". If you didn't know, I rather fancy sick jokes although I must say this one was pretty damn bad. But whatever. According to this website, the whole thing is a sham to piss people off. Well done random sick dude, well done indeed.

Moving on to better things...

Think you're good at beirut aka beer pong? Do you tool around thefacebook.com? Well now you can combine both timewasters! Yup, if you've been on thefacebook lately you might have noticed a little heading introducing their first National Beirut tournament. I am not kidding. This website is actually hosting this thing from the comfort of their worn out IKEA desk chairs.

They say you can play in the college tournament if you're under 21 but only with 2% milk. And in the Nationals in New York they play exclusively with beer...obviously. I say you can ignore the milk rule. That'll be our little secret...and if you tell anybody so help me God! But I digress.

They're going to have officials and everything. Oh, and of course prizes. To quote Randy Moss, "They don't write checks. Cause they're straight cash, homey." What I'm trying to say is that if you win your college tournament, which determines who gets to go to the 212 (NYC), you get $500. If you win the whole shebang, you get, you might want to sit down for this...$10,000. 10 large. 10 g's. However you wanna slice it, that's a lot of coke money. I mean, uh, Yoo Hoo...yea...Yoo Hoo.

Now if you're in the Miami area you might want to check out realcollegesports.com. They have all the rules, pictures, and tournament postings (so your ass can prove your self-absorbed greatness). I guess I can shamelessly plug the fact that I write reviews of each tournament on the website. I'm working on some new weekly things and hope to have some cool little collaborations with a buddy of mine who has the opportunity to write from a Chinaman's perspective. Uh, cause he lives in Shanghai right now.

Enough of that though. The real point here is beer...pong. Beer pong. 1+2=3. I think I just had a brain fart. Anyway, think you can represent your school, assuming you're still in school (which is a rule for the tournament so grads can't play, blast!), then sign up now, bitches! Beer pong is a national pastime, or at least it should be. If you have too much sand in your vagina and don't like drinking beer and make your teammate drink it all, then don't bother playing. You only piss everyone else off. And get a nice moist washcloth, too.

Next up is this year's first Over/Under and a little official announcement concerning how I'll be making money for the next seven months. Oooo, what could it be!? You'll have to wait until Tuesday. Until then...