Here We Go Again

I wasn't even aware that this was a newsworthy story until I read this newsbrief on espn.com. In fact, I didn't even think about it when I watched it originally. If you still haven't clicked on that link then I suppose I'll have to explain what I'm talking about.

During the intro of this past Monday's edition of Monday Night Football between the Eagles and Cowboys, Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens shared a scene with Nicolette Sheridan. She's one of the super MILF's from ABC's Sex In The City rip-off, Desperate Housewives. Basically TO is in his locker room getting ready for the game and Sheridan appears with just a towel. Then she convinces him to miss kickoff to be with her. She then takes off the towel and jumps into TO's arms. You don't see anything, obviously, but apparently this sexy stunt has offended some people - most notably Indianapolis Colts head coach Tony Dungy and FCC chairman Michael Powell.

I can understand how after the Janet Jackson mishap (I refuse to use the more trendy term, WM), Howard Stern, and U of Pitt football players dropping the F-bomb, the networks would impose 5 second delays during their primetime sporting events such as Monday Night Football, NBA basketball and the World Series. However, people are starting to revert back to a 50's mentality and want to censor everything. What happened to the days when you could say "shit" 167 times on South Park (granted it's cable)?

I think the biggest hypocrisy of the whole thing is that the 45 seconds of Sheridan in a towel jumping into TO's arms is more outrageous and detrimental to the fabric of our society than 3.5+ hours of Cowboys cheerleaders in less than a towel combined cleavaging aka dancing on the sidelines. (catching breath -- ignoring run-on sentence)

Look at that. I'm so dumbfounded by the idiocy that I've lost all grip of grammar. And don't let ABC's and the NFL's apologies fool you. You know they are absolutely delighted by the controversy. After all, bad publicity is still publicity. And the much craved male 18-49 demographic is sure to keep tuning in if not for football to at least see if a nipple pops out of Teri Hatcher's boustier.

What's really bothersome is that people really got offended by this. FCC chairman asked, "would Walt Disney be proud?" Dude, are you kidding me? The original Disney lived in a time where objectifying women was not only accepted but encouraged. It reminds me of a
certain scene from a wonderful episode of Family Guy:

Walt Disney: (drawing the model) Alright, take it off.
Minnie Mouse: (starting to cry) Do I...do I have to?
Walt Disney: Ya wanna be stah don't ya?! Yea...that's right...yea...

Then there's Colts coach Tony Dungy who actually pulled out the race card. Not only was Dungy offended that he thought the scene supported stereotypes of athletes being sex-hungry womanizers (Which is usually true. We have stereotypes for a reason, people.) but the fact that TO is black and Sheridan is white played into some sort of weird phobia of jungle fever or something. I don't know, I stopped caring about what he had to say after like three sentences. He mentioned something about it being too close on the heels of the Kobe Bryant case therefore being in bad taste.

I'm sorry but if we can't make fun of athletes' sexual misconduct trials then what can we make fun of? The whole point of Kobe's trial was to exploit and satirize it, right? Did I miss the point?

Well, the real point is, everyone that was offended by the MNF intro really needs to get a nice, damp washcloth and clean the sand out of their collective vagina. Seriously. You people are freakin' retarded. Sexiness has been a part of television and the ratings game for years now. This is nothing new and it wasn't anymore sexy than any other football game or sitcom has been in the past.

I really wish we would stop focusing on censoring sexy stunts like this and focus more on censoring stupid news channel pundits from what Jon Stewart so eloquently called, "partisan hackery." Sex is a part of life that doesn't do anything but tingle the senses whereas filling people's minds with absolute idiotic garbage makes people make poor decisions that really affect us. Half-naked Nicolette Sheridan, good; Tucker Carlson, bad. End the F'ing list.