For The Record: Needles of Redundancy

In the past two years the topic of steroids has been a major issue in professional sport. Major League Baseball has been in the spotlight what with Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire and many others hittin' the syringe but this past season more reports of players in the NFL using steroids surfaced. I think people people aren't that surprised by these reports. Maybe a little with MLB players but most people probably wouldn't be surprised to hear about San Diego Chargers Shawne Merriman being caught using the needle.

Now, I'm not a betting man (ok, I am), but I would say that almost everyone with a brain cell would assume that professional wrestlers, perhaps in the WWE circuit, used the ol' HGH and other steroids. I mean, there are fewer things more obvious in the world than the idea of professional wrestlers using steroids. Well, guess what was headline news on ESPN.com Monday!?

Eleven wrestlers have been linked to using steroids. Whoa, hold on. You're telling me that I wasn't woken up at 4 a.m. and dragged out of my room while someone drives around my neighborhood in a pickup truck blaring out the news through a mega horn? There wasn't a four hour press conference on Anderson Cooper 360 about this?! I can't believe it.

Why is this news? Everyone already knew this. My roommate made a good point in that this feels like a story from The Onion. How incredibly dumb did the writer from the Associated Press feel when he wrote this story? Seriously. When he found out he was assigned to this story he must have had this conversation with his editor:

Writer: You want me to write a press release on what?
Editor: These eleven wrestlers. They are linked to steroids. Steroids is a big scandal in sports.
Writer: But they're wrestlers. [long pause] Oh wait, you must be junior varsity Greco-Roman wrestling at some high school right?
Editor: No, WWE.
Writer: Mother of...

Thanks, AP! Way to break the news! Make sure you guys get someone to break open the "cigarettes are bad for you" case. Quick, before I head to my local package store and pick up a pack of Marlboro Reds unfiltered.