For The Record: Deep Fried American Dream

I almost had it. Five in a row. I said I would do one article every day this week but Wednesday night was just brutal and I didn't have any time to write. So we'll go four out of five; not bad right?

I just got back from the gym so I feel this topic makes sense. Everything one does at the gym is in complete reaction and/or prevention of what I'm about to describe to you. We go to the gym to lose fat and build muscle. We go there to work our heart and get in the best shape we can.

So how's about a deep fried twinkie? How about a Krispy Kreme burger (a KK donut is cut in half and used as a bun)? Deep fried Snickers? No? None of these things sound like a good idea? Well, I'd say you're wrong but it's true. They are all definitely horrible for you. Almost as bad as skinny jeans. They are so 2006.

An independent league baseball team, the Gateway Grizzlies, have come up with a new food for their concession stands every year for the past three years. In 2004 it was a black angus hot dog with bacon, onions and cheese sauce. In 2005 it was a bratwurst with melted swiss and sauerkraut. Last year it was the Krispy Kreme burger aptly titled the Baseball's Best Burger. So what do they have on tap for 2007 that will perfectly tie in my opening four paragraphs? Why the greatest fried idea in history - deep fried White Castle burgers!!

Yup, you guessed it. Greatest idea ever. If you've never had a White Castle burger before you've never lived. And the frozen ones don't count. As tasty as those are they are nothing compared to the fresh ones. And those that say that the Krystal burgers are the same thing have never had a White Castle burger. They're phenomenal. You know how a lot of bars serve sliders or "mini burgers" as an appetizer? They're just full burgers cut into fours. But the idea comes from White Castle. They even made a movie about how great it is starring John Cho and Kal Penn. Which, by the way, there will be a sequel to in 2008 (Woo!).

Now assuming you've tasted heaven before, imagine those little burgers, battered mind you, and then deep fried. Wow. You can taste your arteries clogging. What a great feeling huh?! I figure if you do 20 extra sit-ups and run 10 extra minutes on the treadmill you'll be fine. Because apparently eating two of those burgers will run you 90% of your daily allowable fat intake.

The Gateway Grizzlies will be selling these delights for $4 (you get two). Oh, and if you want a cheese dipping sauce that's a dollar extra. You get that and a beer and you are a man. Forget bar mitzvahs or confirmation or any other religious crap like that. You want to put some hair on a young man's chest (and clog it at the same time!) you need to feed him this tasty meal. I'm considering making a trip to Sauget, Illinois just to try them out. Opening day is May 23. Goooooo Grizzlies!!