It's kind of perfect that the last column ended with me ragging on an Arab barbie doll. Because this site features dolls made just for lesbians. It's called dykedolls.com. I'm not even kidding. Go ahead, check it out. I'll wait...
Ok, so how weird is that site? Did you notice how the whole site is like entering a vagina? Some of you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. But that's ok, you will when you're comfortable and ready.
So we have Fulla the Arab doll, Barbie the American spoiled slut doll, and now Bobbie (I think that's what they call her) the lesbo doll. What's next, hillbilly doll? Unabomber doll? Surrender doll (for the French)? Well I suppose the South Park guys already "created" the hillbilly doll. Remember Alabama Man? "Alabama Maaaan!"
I was scrolling through the website when I happened upon this. I burst out laughing, not because I dislike or disrespect homosexuals. Not at all. I merely had a My Two Dad's flashback. Also because I hate homosexuals. (kidding!)
Ok, so while we're on the sissy/homosexual kind of vibe. Check this article out. I found that on the front page of espn.com. Don't have time to click on and then skim that link? Fine, here....
The University of Iowa football team has a long tradition. That tradition is, of course, to have the visitor team's locker room decked out in pink. That's right, pink. The lockers, the showers, the carpeting and the walls are all pink. Somehow some a couple of law school professors (one from UI) blasted the school saying it violates gender equity "laws" by demeaning "women, perpetuating offensive stereotypes about women and homosexuality, and [thusly] putting the university in the uncomfortable position of tacitly supporting those messages."
I think I know how to solve this problem. (People who know me probably have a good idea what I'm about to say.) How about we take those that are offended and/or concerned about the pink locker room, bring them to a TGI Fridays's, order the ribs appetizer, and after the delicious meal ask for extra wetnaps. One to clean off the rib sauce and another clean the sand out of their vaginas. Sweet fancy Moses, this stuff is ridiculous. How in God's name does the color pink do all that!? Pink is a girl's color. Yea? Well, maybe for frat boys too since they seem to love wearing pink collared shirts with the collars "popped". Those guys are complete douchebags but that's an entirely different story and now I'm getting sidetracked.
The point is that it's a girl's color. Guy's don't like to be called girls or wusses or pansies which the color pink would illustrate. The pink locker room isn't meant to demean women, it's meant to immasculate boys! It's all a mind game. No one's ripping on gays here. You can't say, "oh those guys are showering in pink stalls, they're so gay!" because where else are they going to shower? It's the visiting team's locker room. It's just one big joke, a guy's joke. Get over it lady.
And also, to add some actual evidence that Iowa isn't demeaning women and all that jazz, the person responsible for the pink is a former coach of the football team that was also a psychology major and said that the color pink tends to have a calming and passive effect on people. See? Science baby, science. Suck on that you uber fundamentalist feminist!
By the way, there's got to be a "that's what she said" joke in there somewhere...no? Damn.
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