Arabian Mocha Java

First things first...I need you to check out a couple links. I think I might try and do a daily link as well as a daily quote every time i update this place. But for the first links session of CPunchworld I believe this will suffice. Also, a buddy of mine is starting a new site called Dicksnews.com. It will be starting up fairly soon and will feature cartoons, weird pics, and articles by yours truly.

Speaking of my buddy Brian, our old site Beerial.com, which has been dead for a long time, has many an article written by me pre-CPunchworld. The articles are far more explicit and rough as I had yet to hone my skills and polish my craft. I will every once in a while, maybe once a month, post a "Classic CPunch" article. I may have to polish some of it up but you'll still get the gist.

Anyway, on to the good stuff.

Daler Mehndi is some sort of Arabian Clay Aiken or something. His smash hit single "Tunak Tunak Tun" is apparently sweeping the charts had some of his brethren not bombed them. For a good laugh, check out his latest video for said song. I warn you though, you probably can't take much more than 90 seconds of it before you say, "ok, this guy is f#%king annoying." You'll also wonder how this clown thought four minutes of the same 30 seconds would work. I guess we'll have to talk to the douchebags who make techno for that answer. Peep the vid here.

The second link is for a funny little game that I found at work the other day. If you ever heard about Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick giving some girl VD a few months back, you probably remember that he used the alias "Ron Mexico" when he befriended said ho-bag. Well, now you too can have your own sleezy alias. Introducing the Ron Mexico name generator. Have fun with this (until you input your mom's name).

Finally, remember the times we used to make fun of women's sports? Yea, five minutes ago was pretty sweet. But seriously....oh wait, I was serious. Well anyway, women's sports used to be all about husky lesbians who played the game like inferior men but were allowed to wear shorts and played in events sponsored by Kotex. Nowadays that is not the case.

No my friends, we are far from the dyke era of women's sports. We are entering the hottie era. And I embrace it with open arms and...um...fill in the blank.

If you know anything about tennis you remember when Anna Kournikova stunk up the court with her super hotness. Then came Maria Sharapova. I'll let you take a minute to ingest that picture. Ok. Now Maria, in my opinion, is quite possibly hotter than Anna. I know many of you will cry blasphemy but I will stand firm. (Hehehehe...firm.) By the way, she's actually good at tennis. She's sort of defending her crown at Wimbledon right now. It's only the biggest tennis event in the world. Oh and if you really don't believe me, have a gander at her latest Canon cameras commercial here. Not bad huh? How I wish I was that camera. By the way, she just turned 18. Can you spell ripe?

Moving on to golf. The LPGA has long since been a haven for pathetic play and ugly, ugly women golfers. But today we see an influx of young, gorgeous talent that well...has talent. These girls are really, really good. You have your Paula Creamer. You have your Natalie Gulbis (who I hear is getting nailed by Ben Rothlisbauloetareger). There's 15 year-old Michelle Wie who is probably next in line on the Olsen Twins type countdown clock til 18. And then there's my favorite: Erica Blasberg.

Erica turns 21 on July 14 and is a rookie on the tour this year. She's from Corona, California and fresh off graduation at the University of Arizona. By the way, how awesome is Arizona? They consistently spit out delicious girls at an alarming rate. It's like the hottest girls from California that weren't smart enough for UC schools just go to ASU and UA. Outstanding stuff.

I am actually seriously considering attending the next closest LPGA event in hopes of hitting on her after her round. And trust me, this is the only time ever in life that I'm excited about doing the humpty-hump with a girl with a big stick. Leave your snickers at the door, poindexter.